I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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