She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
