you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
