That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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