i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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