piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
