got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
