You made me cry and you don't even care
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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