I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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