what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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