would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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