He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
a search helicopter?!
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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