I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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