This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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