im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
