Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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