fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
