Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
