Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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