i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
