just tell him i said nine months
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
