I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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