i just wanna soil my oats bro
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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