And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i permit you to call me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
