can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
