he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
