wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
