I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
