is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
