People in love make me want to vomit
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
