the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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