you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
