my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Say something about gay babies.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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