i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
