there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
