Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
