im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
