Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
