i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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