Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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