6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
