I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
