i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
