I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
