I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
