I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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