Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have aggressive nipples.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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