Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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