everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
