grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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